Bigfoot
• • ☕️ 2 min readI didn't think my feet were THAT big. I thought they were pretty average. I don't get why they call me Bigfoot. I was just minding my business, living in the forest, when all these people started taking pictures of me.
I don’t know what they wanted. So, I said, “Hey, you shouldn’t be on my land. Get out!” And they said, “No way! Those are some pretty big feet you got there, Bigfoot! Let’s take a picture!” I was trying to protect myself, which is hard to do when you’re taking pictures. They kept coming closer and closer to me. So, I picked up my fist and gave them a good punch. But every time I hit one of them, another one would say, 'Hey, do that again!’. They were very persistent." Then Mr. Bigfoot continued, “I didn’t realize I hit the town Mayor with my fist. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody. I just wanted them to go home.” When asked what kind of punishment he is expecting from the Mayor and Park Rangers, Mr. Bigfoot said, “I don’t know. I just hope they don’t take all the animals away from me.”
Photographer Robert Young and the people at Skalkullweb.com are currently working on the Internet Bigfoot Museum. The museum will include at least a thousand pictures of Bigfoot. Although the pictures are not legally copyrighted, the museum will include a donation box accepting up to $10 per picture. When asked if he is sure he doesn’t mind sharing the museum with everybody, Mr. Bigfoot said, “I’m not beholden to the parks system. I don’t have parks rights. I didn’t kill anybody. I was just trying to protect myself in my own forest. It’s my forest. You don’t go into their forest and start playing with stuff. If you go into their house without their permission, they’d probably get pretty mad. But, I’m not holding a grudge against them. I’m just glad that they’re finally going to be removed from my forest… You’re welcome to come over and take pictures. I’m not going to hit you or punch you. I’m ready to make friends.”
In a related note, the Los Angeles Times has reported that the people from Skalkullweb.com have been threatened by the Park Rangers and Mayor to stop hiking through the forest. Apparently, the Mayor and Rangers have both said that the men from Skalkull are encroaching on their property with the museum. When asked how this latest development will affect the museum, Mr. Bigfoot responded, “The museum is still on track to be the biggest museum on the Internet. This is just a minor setback.”.
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